The One Where We Learn About the Morphine

Dudes, I so totally had plans to blog my butt off this weekend but after this morning's trip to the ER I'm not quite feeling up to snuff.

So we've been having sales conference at work all week, which usually means lots of people in and out of the office, and lots of catered meals. On Wednesday, there was this fritatta thing, that was actually quite tasty.

On Friday I found out that lots of people had been hit with a bout of food poisoning from it on Thursday. So, I'm thinking it's Friday right, I should be good. Oh hell no.

We went out to dinner at an Indian restaurant Friday night with one of the folks out from the New York office. Left the restaurant around 9:30pm, got back to the house around 10:15 and proceeded to start puking my brains out.

So for me food poisoning normally involves expelling everything from both, ahem, avenues and then I'll be fine. But by the time 3:30am rolled around and I was still waking up every 20 minutes or so so I could continue "expelling" I told Sweetie I wasn't going to be able to stop and I was too dehydrated and we needed to get to the hospital.

I gotta say, I love Kaiser. The only two trips I've ever needed to make to their ER have been handled swiftly. I've been to other provider ERs where we've had to wait upwards of 5 hours to be seen. I know it all depends on how busy they are when you show up, but still, they've been awesome. Still peeves me that work doesn't offer us a Kaiser option. So until they tell me I can't (oh, which apparently might be Jan. 1, 2009), I'll stay on Sweetie's policy as a Domestic Partner.

So the Dr came in to see me and asked about stomach pain, which was when I told it him it wasn't so much my stomach as my diaphragm. He started poking around, dude I hate the poking part, which set off another bout of vomiting followed by a dash to the toilet. Dr says, yeah it's your diaphragm (that's what I said), but you've also got something going on with your pancreas there (oh). So we'll be giving you something to stop the vomiting, morphine for the pain, Imodium for the diarrhea, and hook you up to a bag of fluids.

Dudes, when the nurse says, "Now you may feel a little dizzy and leaden," she's not kidding. I have a couple issues with her IV placement skills, but I appreciated the morphine warning.

So by the time we left, I was chugging down water and was begging for more. I'm still just on fluids, but I might try a piece of toast or crackers for dinner. I just jumped online to let y'all know what's up and to email my dinner mates from last night to see if they had any issues. Since we all shared family style I can try to narrow it down to either dinner or that fritatta from Wednesday. I still find it hard to believe that my metabolism is so slow I wouldn't get sick for two full days, but you never know.

I don't quite remember my exit instructions from the Dr, I know I'm supposed to continue to pay attention to the pancreas area if the tenderness doesn't go away, but beyond that I don't know. Really, really shouldn't be giving instructions to me, or asking me to read the informational hand outs, or signing credit card bills after a shot of morphine. Just sayin'.