Thursday? Already?

How did it get to be Thursday already? This week has simply flown by and frankly, I don't remember much of it. The sun has been shining, birds singing, and flowers blooming all week and it seems the only time I get to enjoy it is when I'm walking from the house to the car (20 or so steps), from the car to the office (maybe a half block), and back again. I shouldn't complain, my co-workers in Boulder got a snow-day today because of some blizzard or something.

I saw this article a while back in the New York Times about gender pay differences. According to this, as an editor I apparently make 17% less than my male counterparts. Problem is, I would never know this. Other than my immediate supervisor, all my fellow editors at work are also women. Maybe that's how our company plans to weather the recession?

Speaking of compensation, I did find time this week to read DeSantis' letter of resignation to AIG's CEO Liddy. I found it compelling and well-written and I understand what he's saying. And on the one hand, I agree with him. On the other hand, taxpayer money is the only thing keeping his company afloat and that money needs to be administered responsibly.

Then there's my personal reality check. DeSantis' bonus, HIS BONUS, is more than 15 times my annual salary. My bonus, the last time I got one, was about $300—maybe just enough to pay for a month's worth of gas after taxes.

On to other things.

I've noticed over the past month or so, my use of Facebook has really dropped off. Much more so since the new redesign. At least before I could tell it what information I did and didn't want in my status feed. Now all I seem to see is that SO-and-So took umpteen quizzes. Oh, and apparently someone who reads this, had a field day updating her Virtual Bookshelf application the other day.

That second part was kind of cool actually, I like seeing what books my friends are interested in. I end up finding several things I'd like to read myself, but I'd much rather have that information kept within the application or served through email instead of sucking up every available pixel. So what do you think of the Facebook redesign?

Apparently a lot of people don't like it and after Zuckerberg essentially said, We're not listening to our customers, they're now listening to their customers and hopefully we'll see some improvements.

In other Facebook news, they've added a new class of private groups intended for family use. Sort of like setting up a family website, but in this case, your family can only see it if they have a Facebook profile and have been invited to the group. On the one hand, I can see how this would be a good thing. I could quit bugging my sister each year to remind me who drew whose name for the Christmas gift exchange and keep up on birthdays, graduations, and what not.

On the other hand, you just know someone is going to get their drawers in a bunch over something said by someone else and your typically family dramas, instead of being between 2 to 10 people, will be acted out on the internets for the entire family to see.

Then there's the whole issue of crowd control. So, say you're in a mixed family—parents divorced and remarried. Does the child of the original couple have the ability to invite anyone he or she wants? What prevents said child from adding both birth-parents and married-in parents to the same group.

I'm not thinking of myself here. I've had two moms for nearly 35 years—I know better. But, say, if I were 12 or 13... you know, when actual child-rearing is still happening, that would be a whole world of drama no one really ever wants to deal with.

Conflicted

So here's the deal. I know I've mentioned that my 20-year high school reunion is next year and that my class has been getting back in touch on Facebook.

One of my old friends mentioned that she's still in touch with and old boyfriend of mine. Actually, my first serious boyfriend, and it was not a happy relationship as adolescent relationships go.

My first reaction was knee-jerk and instinctual--I was deeply offended that she was giving me an update on how he was doing and felt such intense revulsion at even the mention of him. But, I can't control who other people are friends with, so I just decided not to comment on it.

So now, he has apparently searched for me on Facebook and sent a message:

Have been trying to find Wayward from High School, and your name was the only one left from the search. Is this really the Wayward that used to work at the local McDonalds?

If it is, please write me back. Would love to catch up with you.

Look forward to hearing from you.

After 20 years, he's basically a stranger. But then again, that same statement would apply to all my old classmates I haven't stayed in contact with. Except that memories shared with them are more likely to be positive and reestablishing contact with them might lead to friendship and doesn't resurrect bad feelings and tonight's dinner.

Here's my dilemma, the revulsion I feel for this person is on the level of what I feel for my grandmother's ex-husband who molested me as a child.

Do I try to let go of the bad feelings and memories and try to make nice? Do I actually have any obligation to make nice?

My gut reaction is that I really want nothing to do with him and I really don't care if he's a whole different person now. That may be immature, but that's how I feel. I don't think making nice would do anything to enhance my life. I certainly don't feel like anything has been missing from my life for not having had contact with him.

So the other part, if I don't want to make nice, am I obligated to respond at all? Part of me wants to respond and let him know I want nothing to do with him (that's that immature part again) and part of me just wants to ignore it.

Now that I've written about it and thought it out it seems like a no-brainer--of course I don't want this person in my life. Why invite those feelings in to be a regular part of my life? But I'm still stuck with how to handle it. And how to handle future messages from him as he friends people I'm already friends with in the Facebook world?

Talk about feeling like I'm back in high school.